So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
