I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
how does that bad decision feel?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
