ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
