I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
