she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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