One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
