Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
