Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize