Don't you send me to vm
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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