She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
