Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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