okay pat passed out under dana's car
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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