just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
