I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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