What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Randomize
