Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize