What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
