Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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