So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Someone came in the potted fern
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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