Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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