It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
