I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
