Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
