C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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