He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
