Don't make out with my wife yet
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
