so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
