she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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