Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Mom said you looked used
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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