READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
