Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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