fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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