oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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