he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
