Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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