I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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