I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
