She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
