im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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