I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
