so explain again why im purple
no
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
