He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
