i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize