Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
