xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
