She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
