i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
