let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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