I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
