i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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