how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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