Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
