Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
