o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
the condom got lost in my hair
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
