Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
