So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize