..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
