how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
