He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
